i am sisterhood CANCELLED!

I’ve been looking forward to my I AM SISTERHOOD retreat in Bali since I booked it in January.

I was just finishing up the online i am sisterhood course when I got an email about a live retreat in Bali. I have wanted to go on a woman’s retreat for YEARS and finally, finally I made it happen.

In the past I’ve hemmed and hawed so long that I always missed the opportunity, but not this time. I loved the online class so much that I immediately committed to the Bali retreat. I’ve had ten months of anticipation.

I booked my flight, business class, splurging. Since it’s such a long flight I decided to stay an extra week so I booked a stay at Kamandalu Resort in Ubud for a few days, looks amazing,

then a few more days at the beach in Iluwatu at Sal Secret Spot to surf. salsecretspotOh and since I was already going to be half way around the world I decided to spend a couple of days in Hong Kong to look for fabric for a line of floor pillows I’m working on.

Did I mention that since my daughter doesn’t want to stay with her dad I had to figure out who would come stay with her? Luckily my childhood BFF’s mom said she was game so I bought her a plane ticket. It’s taken a lot of planning with multiple people to make this trip happen!

Now that the time has come (I’m SOooooooO excited!!!!!) I email Anni because I still don’t know where we’re staying in Ubud and I leave this Friday. I have a funny feeling as I press send because it doesn’t seem quiet right that I haven’t heard a peep from her about the retreat so close to the start date.

Sure enough she emails me back that the retreat is cancelled… CANCELLED, WTF?!!!! Okay her mom is really sick, dying actually so what can be done? Of course she has to cancel and be with her mom as she transitions from this life. I understand, I really do but I’m still SUPER sad. Look how awesome this was going to be!

Welcome to I am
Night One: *I AM* UNFOLDING ME
Welcome to I AM SISTERHOOD
*Welcome to I AM SISTERHOOD
*Circle check in + sacred space building
*Magic talk + unfolding the divine feminine consciousness
*Finding your Spirit Color + Essence
*Prana Path Meditation
*MOON MEDITATION (CIRCLE UNDER THE MOON) + singing
*Moon Oil + Magic Moon Water
*Breaking Free to Be Me : 6 line poetry slam
*Sisterhood Moon Essence

Day Two: *I AM* WOMAN TRIBE
AIR : Understanding Divine Mind
*Claiming the Sacred Writer Within
*Sacred Journal Time
*Claim Your Super Power
*Self Care
*Loving Yourself : make rose anointing oil
*Heart to Heart
*Soul Sister Match Up
*Goddess Gift Exchange

FIRE: Understanding Our Will + Action
*Black Protection Salt
*Fire Release
*Understanding the Pendulum
*Sexual Fire
*Desires: Poetry Slam
*Being WITNESSED + personal pacts
*Raw Witness Dancing
Day Three: *I AM* my PASSIONS

WATER: Understanding Our Emotional Flow
*Gratitude Practice
*Living in Abundance
*Release Lack with “Bay Leaf”
*Create Money Abundance Oil + Money Spell
*Drink from Chalice of Manifestation
*Living my Passion Dreams…no matter what
*Defining Your Dreams

EARTH: Getting Grounded
*Gratitude Practice
*Mother Nature Grounding
*Drum Circle
*Create Crystal Wands
*Safe circle + Spirit Path Cards + Meditation

ENDING : *I AM* DEFINED
Living in Sacred Freedom
my name : be gifted your spirit soul name
my vision : small steps on the path : today *i will* life mapping….
my purpose in the world : dig deep to see your highest good vision
Special “RED BOLD” Ceremony
**Going to the BOWL**

There are some tears, feelings of major disappointment, and then…rallying. I mean what can be done? I’m not going to cancel the whole trip, I can’t I’ve already made too many arrangements and damnit I want to go to Bali!

Wipe my tears, pick myself up and figure out a new plan. Surrender to the moment. What else is there?

I’ve done some looking around online and I think I’m going to stay at Hotel Tugu, they have availabilitytugu-bali-1  and it looks really nice…tugu-bali-5 And there’s a yoga studio that looks awesome close by. thepractice1

So instead of I AM SISTERHOOD and kumbayaing with my sisters (which I really, really love and don’t get enough of) I guess I’m going on a solo yoga retreat.

And yes this is absolutely a first world problem. I like to remind myself of this when I start to feel sorry for myself. Boohoo my luxury woman’s retreat in Bali got cancelled so now I have to rearrange things a bit. Just to keep things in perspective. ☺

Finally the Mr. will be joining me for the later half of the trip so it’s all feels pretty great even though I’m still super sad about i am sisterhood. At least there will be a little romance.

Bright blessings,

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Small moments

Brave Blogging
No. 3 Small moments + a peek at No. 2

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For me authentic sharing online takes practice. I have always tried to put my best foot forward, to offer inspiration or some such thing, but I think it’s true that the real deal, the nitty gritty is actually more interesting. That’s not to say I’m not authentic but it is saying that I’ve been very one dimensional.

Yesterday we listened to an interview with Laurie Wagner of 27powers.org  (I am so taking a writing class from her!) and it was so inspiring that I’m rethinking how I put myself out into the world as a blogger. Our assignment was to write something that we were afraid to share. I got a start on that this morning In the notes on my phone at coffee, and I may even share it at some point.

So small moments… I love the small moments, those seemingly insignificant times throughout the day that  I often don’t notice, but every now and then catch a glimpse of. As much as I try to stay mindful much of my day often passed by in a blur.

 

This is one of those time that I took notice. At this very moment I’m taking a break in my day to slow down and lounge by the pool after a morning of manual labor.  (I’m writing this on my iPhone:-)

S E L F  N U R T U R I N G is a must in my book.  My thinking is that if I don’t choose to take/make time for some yumminess then my whole life might be a blur. Lord knows the last four decades went by in a flash!

So I’m going to sit here by the pool reading Red Hot & Holy until I have the go pick my kid up from school and I’m not going to feel guilty about it thank you very much.

I hope you take a moment for yourself today.

Thinking of you with love,

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Sacred Woman Oracle – Mystical

I love it when I find something that really moves me, that’s incredibly inspiring. That was the case with Mindy Tsonas‘ Inner Alchemy – water coven class. In fact I loved it so much that I decided to build on what I learned to share it with my goddesses on our annual retreat.

What I created is the Sacred Woman Oracle. IMG_6086

Making these cards is not only fun but also a deep self exploration.IMG_6289 IMG_6290

I made these with my ladies from images I found on PinterestIMG_6291

The thing that is so powerful about making these cards it the opportunity they provide for diving deep into our archetypal selves. I spend some time with each card and journal about what it means to me, when I use the deck for a reading the meaning is personal and profound, magical even.

Today I was drawn to this cardMystical

The mystical is that unexplainable, magical realm where deep insights can be unearthed. It’s a place we can visit in our dreams or when we still our mind enough to open ourselves to the mysteries and magic that’s always available to us, yet often just out of reach.

I’ve only had two truly mystical experiences in my life, the most recent when I was alone in the Joshua Tree desert after being guided on a deep imagery meditation intended to lead me to my spirit animal.

The day before, while alone on the land, I found a broken coyote femur. I picked it up and put it in my pouch sensing there was some significance in my discovery, although at the time I had now idea what that could be. 

Often times when I meditate I find deep inner peace but I don’t normally have visions or even practice visualizing (although I think I’d like to do this more often). So I was very surprised at how vivid my visualization was during the guided meditation. It must have had to do with the magical location, combined with the steady beat of the drum my guide was playing.

Much to my surprise I met a wolf in my vision who I then embodied. I could feel myself as the wolf and see through the wolfs eyes. Strangely I feel it was male…

Prior to this trip to Joshua Tree I had a conversation with a friend, from which I realized I can’t really identify how I’m ‘feeling’ a lot of the time, which seemed very strange because I consider myself a fairly conscious, aware person. I had therefore been exploring why I don’t/can’t really feel my feelings (so much history around that), why I’m mostly so contained. Lord knows I’ve had tons of therapy to get in touch with my feelings or whatever else needed excavating. It’s kind of hard to describe because I mostly feel happy and content (to be expected after all that therapy:-), but on the other hand if there’s a feeling that doesn’t fit into my happy bubble it seems to get compartmentalized and stored just out of reach. This mind you has some distinct advantages, yet it is also dangerous.

Feelings that are stored away without examination can manifest in many ways that aren’t in ones best interest, illness of all kinds for example. Awareness is always best in my opinion.

Hence the desert solitude retreat and an earnest effort to ‘get in touch’ with my feelings and deep imagery meditation where I met my spirit guide…

What I discovered from wolf during our time together is that I needed to release whatever I was holding in (still something of a mystery) by howling like a wolf. That’s right just let loose and howl. The idea that I would howl is WAY outside of my comfort zone. I don’t even know why but it is. I’m just not comfortable doing that for some unknown reason.

After the meditation was over I went back out on the land alone. I climbed up the rocks to a high pass with a view of the vastness that is Joshua Tree National Park.

JoshuaTree04

I burnt some sage, I painted and journaled a bit, then thought okay I’ll give this howling thing a go. After all I’m alone with no one in sight so I’ll only look like an idiot to myself.

One little howl…it felt uncomfortable yet strangely freeing. Actually kind of good in a weird way. So I think to myself go ahead, do it again. So I did. Then again and again. And then the most amazing and magical thing happened, the desert erupted in a cacophony of coyote howls. It was the middle of the day so at first I thought I must be imagining it. No it was real, they were there and they were howling with me.

So now I have created a Sacred Woman Oracle card that reminds me that I am surrounded by mystery and magic and that it’s within my power to summon that magic and immerse myself in the beautiful mystery of life.

I hope you’re enjoying this journey as much as I am right now, and that you’re touched by mystery and magic today.

 

Awakening the Goddess

I’ve been thinking about you… about sharing with you… about stepping back into this flow as a participant rather than just the spectator that I’ve been for a while now.  This seems a good time with spring upon us, the time of rebirth and emergence.

What a journey this past 12 months or so has been for me, from depth to prolific.

There has been such beautiful transformation for me this year so far. I think that when I/we set intentions there is the expectation, the hope, that I/we will see the fruits of our desires manifest if not quickly (immediately) then at least soon-ish. But the Universe does not operate in the same dimension of time as we do here on mama earth. Patience is required and I have come to understand that when I conclude my intention setting with “this or something better, in it’s own perfect time, for the highest good of all” the timing will unfurl as it will, in it’s own perfect time.

IMG_5262 Intention: gather my tribe – Moon Lodge is blossoming

That time has arrived for a few intentions that I’ve been holding close to my heart for several years now. First to work in partnership, in collaboration with someone who’s values are aligned with mine, who desires to bring light into this world, to facilitate transformation for women, and whose skill set will compliment mine. (I bow to the ground in gratitude to Jennifer H, we are making magic together. More will be revealed on that note.)  Second to gather women in a very sacred way, to hold space, to shine light, to empower. (Moon Lodge is gathering momentum with more ritual gathering opportunities underway). Third to participate in gatherings, retreats and classes. (I AM SISTERHOOD Bali here I come!)

I am sisterhoodI AM SISTERHOOD gathering / photo credit Anni Daulter

If you’ve been waiting for something, dreaming about something, wanting to manifest something, I encourage you to hold your dreams close to your heart, to know that ‘this or something better, in it’s own perfect time, for the highest good of all’ WILL manifest. We don’t need to know how or when, just that it will be done.

Now as the Moon is waxing to fullness is the perfect time to create space for setting powerful intentions. Make a little alter with a candle and some meaningful objects, it doesn’t have to be fancy. Get out your journal and begin to write from your heart. When you have clarity on what your heart truly desires write your intentions down. Begin like this “I am gracefully finding myself…. taking beautiful photos to share on my blog (one of mine)”. You may only have one or you may have many, either way write them down on a piece of paper. Read your intention every night before you go to bed, feel them in your heart, maybe sleep with them under your pillow.

What I know for sure is that you, we, are powerful creators and it is through intention that we commune with the Universe and set the wheels of creation in motion.

I believe in the power of dreams and I am filled with gratitude as I write this. Thank you for all that you do, for all that you are.

Love + light,

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