I love it when I find something that really moves me, that’s incredibly inspiring. That was the case with Mindy Tsonas‘ Inner Alchemy – water coven class. In fact I loved it so much that I decided to build on what I learned to share it with my goddesses on our annual retreat.
The thing that is so powerful about making these cards it the opportunity they provide for diving deep into our archetypal selves. I spend some time with each card and journal about what it means to me, when I use the deck for a reading the meaning is personal and profound, magical even.
The mystical is that unexplainable, magical realm where deep insights can be unearthed. It’s a place we can visit in our dreams or when we still our mind enough to open ourselves to the mysteries and magic that’s always available to us, yet often just out of reach.
I’ve only had two truly mystical experiences in my life, the most recent when I was alone in the Joshua Tree desert after being guided on a deep imagery meditation intended to lead me to my spirit animal.
The day before, while alone on the land, I found a broken coyote femur. I picked it up and put it in my pouch sensing there was some significance in my discovery, although at the time I had now idea what that could be.
Often times when I meditate I find deep inner peace but I don’t normally have visions or even practice visualizing (although I think I’d like to do this more often). So I was very surprised at how vivid my visualization was during the guided meditation. It must have had to do with the magical location, combined with the steady beat of the drum my guide was playing.
Much to my surprise I met a wolf in my vision who I then embodied. I could feel myself as the wolf and see through the wolfs eyes. Strangely I feel it was male…
Prior to this trip to Joshua Tree I had a conversation with a friend, from which I realized I can’t really identify how I’m ‘feeling’ a lot of the time, which seemed very strange because I consider myself a fairly conscious, aware person. I had therefore been exploring why I don’t/can’t really feel my feelings (so much history around that), why I’m mostly so contained. Lord knows I’ve had tons of therapy to get in touch with my feelings or whatever else needed excavating. It’s kind of hard to describe because I mostly feel happy and content (to be expected after all that therapy:-), but on the other hand if there’s a feeling that doesn’t fit into my happy bubble it seems to get compartmentalized and stored just out of reach. This mind you has some distinct advantages, yet it is also dangerous.
Feelings that are stored away without examination can manifest in many ways that aren’t in ones best interest, illness of all kinds for example. Awareness is always best in my opinion.
Hence the desert solitude retreat and an earnest effort to ‘get in touch’ with my feelings and deep imagery meditation where I met my spirit guide…
What I discovered from wolf during our time together is that I needed to release whatever I was holding in (still something of a mystery) by howling like a wolf. That’s right just let loose and howl. The idea that I would howl is WAY outside of my comfort zone. I don’t even know why but it is. I’m just not comfortable doing that for some unknown reason.
After the meditation was over I went back out on the land alone. I climbed up the rocks to a high pass with a view of the vastness that is Joshua Tree National Park.
I burnt some sage, I painted and journaled a bit, then thought okay I’ll give this howling thing a go. After all I’m alone with no one in sight so I’ll only look like an idiot to myself.
One little howl…it felt uncomfortable yet strangely freeing. Actually kind of good in a weird way. So I think to myself go ahead, do it again. So I did. Then again and again. And then the most amazing and magical thing happened, the desert erupted in a cacophony of coyote howls. It was the middle of the day so at first I thought I must be imagining it. No it was real, they were there and they were howling with me.
So now I have created a Sacred Woman Oracle card that reminds me that I am surrounded by mystery and magic and that it’s within my power to summon that magic and immerse myself in the beautiful mystery of life.
I hope you’re enjoying this journey as much as I am right now, and that you’re touched by mystery and magic today.